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Perspective 8: Fairness in Relationships 

Last updated on December 7, 2018

Here’s an observation to think about when we talk with people we care about.

You snap at your friend, lover, or live-in and write it off with a hug and an explanation that you’re just out of sorts today. You had a bad day at work and you’re just a bit crabby. ‘Forgive me? Just let me sit in the bath and I’ll be fine.’

But when your friend, lover, or live-in snaps at you? Well, then your mind starts whirling. They are so mean-spirited. They never believe in you. They are always looking for a way to put you down. As much as you try to love, they just keep judging.

Or maybe they’re just having a bad day?

For you, it’s a one-time thing. For them, from your eyes, it’s always or never. Why do you let yourself off with having a bad day but judge the core of someone else’s character?

More on perspective. Here, here, here.

Cheers!


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2 Comments

  1. This reminds me of my favorite George W. Bush quote, “Too often we judge other groups by their worst examples, while judging ourselves by our best intentions.”

    Stephanie and I have talked about this and have actively worked together to combat it. It can all be solved with trust and humility. Two things that even during the best of times can be difficult qualities to portray in earnest. When I’m frustrated with Stephanie I force myself to recall that this is my person. She is the one that loves me always. It doesn’t always work to resolve the issue immediately but thinking this way has benefited my marriage by allowing me to think before I speak or act and to react with humility.

    • Wise words! When did that happen?

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