What funny creatures we are.
I think often about dying. I hate the thought of it. The loss of everything. Of feelings and thoughts and hopes and of everything still left undone. When I think about these things, I’m filled with love for and fascination with everything. Sunlight shining just so through the window is beautiful. A pebble polished from a thousand years of sandy wash is a thing of wonder. I think of taking naps with the girls or of driving to Virginia and going to a baseball game with the kids. I want to lay around for the day with my wife, reading and watching lousy TV. I forgive everyone for everything. I forgive myself.
And then I’m at work and have a report to read and approve and I can’t access it. There’s a computer glitch on a server in another state that prevents me from loading this thing. And my morning is ruined. I’m feeling bitchy and that light shining through the window is not so beautiful now and it hurts my eyes. People are an irritant.
Tell me. Just how stupid is this?